Jenny Bathurst: “This is not healthy. This is unhealthy”

I am sorry to be yet another person in your week who has inevitably commented on the darker evenings and colder (and thunder-ier, and rainier) temperatures, but I wonder if it has thrown anyone else off balance as much as it has me. The clock strikes 16:30 and suddenly I’m yawning every minute and twiddling my thumbs until it’s time for bed. Any excursion past 17:00 feels like a late night trip on which I’m deeply surprised that everything is still open and other cars are on the road.

It’s strange to reflect on how we spend our time. Many of us feel that we aren’t controlled by ‘time’ until the clocks change or our routines are scuppered and suddenly everything feels so off kilter. Due to chronic illness I work and study almost exclusively from home, something that I have only had to grow accustomed to over the past year. Or should I say, am still growing accustomed to. There is nothing that feels more lazy (personally) than lying around in bed all day whilst trying to watch an online lecture or submitting a task, despite it being the only way I CAN work without passing out or losing any sense of self or the world around me!

A day which has actually been incredibly productive can feel so entirely wasted depending on where I physically was but also how my mind is positioned that day. There is a constant narrative in society to thrive for productivity, and there is an image that goes alongside that. Waking up in the small hours of the morning, not eating breakfast because it’s a waste of valuable time, laptop out on the commute and then a long, long day in the office pulling your hair out over ensuring every task is to perfection. This is not healthy. This is unhealthy.

Of course we are told if we want to live wonderful lives we ‘need’ money, and money comes from hard work. And yes, there is perhaps some truth that can be found in that. But as a twenty-one-year old I never want to reflect on my life in fifty years time and just remember the stress and fatigue I experienced just to get the top grades or highest salary. Time is arguably the most valuable asset, yet we often don’t take a second thought as to how we spend it. I expect some, if not, many, will disagree with me, but productivity does not equal happiness and our time on earth is limited. Yes, so few of us have the luxury to choose to work or not work, but striving towards numbers is not a goal I ever want to work towards.