A level results: "I am frightened to think too deeply into it"

Sussex Student Jenny Bathurst is hoping to study journalism at the University of Brighton (Eastbourne campus).
Jenny BathurstJenny Bathurst
Jenny Bathurst

The coronavirus crisis has robbed her of the chance to sit A levels. We have asked Jenny to share her thoughts on the difficult times we are living through... Here is her latest contribution.

"In one week’s time, I will know my A Level results. Agh. In fact, I could end the article there and you could probably imagine all the thoughts spinning around my head at the moment, although I’m not sure that would make a particularly interesting read. For any student who has ever experienced the ‘joys’ of results day I am positive that we can all agree that the build-up and anticipation surrounding that long awaited moment can be incredibly nerve wracking. This will be my third time receiving exam results in such a format, in which the first two experiences have been incredibly different. Having arrived back from a festival only three hours earlier and surviving on very little sleep, achieving GCSE results that were higher than anticipated caused me to burst into floods of tears, and there’s a terrible photo to prove it. How embarrassing. A year later on opening my AS Level results, (which due to having little significance on students’ futures now tend not to be sat by Year 12 pupils), I opened the envelope, noticed that I was happy with the grades, and proceeded to chat with my friends in the college foyer. When considering this it appears that it is not the letters on the page that affect us so deeply, but their connection to our future.

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"It seems to be a heavily debated topic amongst students, teachers and exam boards whether it is fair that two years of hard work and determination can be represented solely by one grade. Roughly five hours per subject of sitting in a roasting exam hall surrounded by anxious teenagers and reams of paper certainly isn’t the environment where I remember why I am passionate about a subject but tends to leave me wishing I’d chosen anything else instead. Because of this I have always been of the firm belief that we should be graded based on our attainment over the school year.

"When discussing this year’s exam alterations with others the first thing said is always, “well at least you don’t have to go through that stress”, and they are right, that worry has been averted. But if this is the case, why are exam boards allowing young people up and down the country to have to endure such stress for that period? However, there are two sides of every story. A Levels are a challenge, as are GCSEs. They take time. For those who have been working unbelievably hard this year in the hope that they can boost their grades at the last minute and be enrolled into their dream university, the rug has been pulled out from under their feet. Whereas before an unsuccessful result in a mock exam was simply motivation to focus on an area in closer detail, that will now be factored into a final grade that determines the next three to four years of their lives.

"I am very much uncertain of what letters are going to appear on my sheet of paper next Thursday. Of course my main goal is to receive the required grades to begin my journalism degree at the University of Brighton, but there is always that hope that I might have achieved that and more. If I am honest I am frightened to think too deeply into it for fear of being disappointed, but I have to continually remind myself that those grades do not define me. If I under achieve, I can go through clearing. If I do well, then I will be glad to see the effort I have invested be recognised. There are always options, and those letters have nothing to do with my worth or my value as a human being.

"Now someone please remind me of that on Thursday when I am a nervous wreck!"